there's a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:48:10 GMT

DONE FINALS. DONE SEMESTER ONE OF COLLEGE. FINALLY. CHRISTMAS IS COMING VERY SOON AND I HAVE YET TO START SHOPPING, HAHA. I'M A RETARD. BUT YEAH I PRETTY MUCH KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING EVERYONE, JUST WAITING TO GET PAID. TRUE.

ME AND MIZZ ARE IN LOVE, AS USUAL. BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME, ALONG WITH JAMES; HIMSELF. I'M THE LUCKIEST PERSON EVER TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND A BOYFRIEND AS WONDERFUL AS JIM AND AMANDA! HAHA WORD.

SO I'M SUPERVISOR AT JAGGARD ECC STARTING IN JANUARY. NICE MONEY, BUT A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY. KASEY WON'T BE THERE ANYMORE. I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO GO TO IF I HAVE A QUESTION OR ANYTHING. IT'S JUST ME. BLEGH. I'LL BE ABLE TO DO IT THOUGH. IT'S WORTH IT.

NOT ONLY THAT, BUT NEXT SEMESTER I AM LOADED UP WITH CLASSES AND IT'S GOING TO BE A LOT OF WORK. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SETTLE DOWN WITH ALWAYS GOING OUT INSTEAD OF DOING HOMEWORK, NA MEAN? YEAH.

ME AND KRYSTAL DON'T TALK ANYMORE. NOT EVEN WORTH GOING INTO DETAIL. SO STUPID. BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE MY FEELINGS FOR DAN OR THE FACT THAT I CAN'T WAIT FOR HIM TO GET OUT BECAUSE I MISS HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING AND ANYONE. THAT BOY IS MY NIGGA FOR LIFE. <3

OTHER THAN THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING PRETTY WELL. NOT REALLY A LOT TO UPDATE SINCE EVERYTHING'S STILL THE SAME HAHA. I WANT WINTER TO BE OVER, I WANT THE SUN AND I WANT THE BEACH AND I WANT WARM WEATHER. IT SEEMS TO MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN THIS FRIGID WIND THAT'S BEEN STINGING MY FACE LATELY. FOR WHATEVER REASON.

PEACE!

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 17:54:07 GMT

IT'S FALL. NOVEMBER 2007.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So on my way home from school on Thursday at 6pm, I was driving in Pemberton right on rt 38. There was a car in front of me, not too close, but not real far either. All of a sudden I see these two eyes staring at me and I had no time to react and I smashed into a deer. It kept running, and I kept driving but then once I realized what happened I pulled over and called my mom and freaked out. I ended up getting home okay and now the car is in my driveway.

the whole front of the car.

ew there's deer hair everywhere!

you can see right down to the ground
through the car.

everything's cracked.

couldn't even get out the driver's
side door. had to climb over to the
passenger's.

had to sit up real straight to
see over the crushed hood to get home.

deer blood! gross.

I don't even know how to describe lately. Something's missing, or something's not right. I don't even know. My gram's real sick and gets surgery on the 29th. It's been really stressful at home, and I can't help but think about it all the time which makes me upset, all the time. God will help us through, like he always does. I just wish this kind of stuff didn't happen to my gram. I really don't think she deserves to hurt that bad all the time.

Me and Jim are perfect. He's in love with me and it's so good to know that and not have to question it. And when he goes out to the bar I never have to worry about him being with other girls because he would never hurt me and I know it. And all of that goes for me too. I will never hurt Jim. He's the one person I feel like will be there when I really need it regardless of previous plans. He's the one person I know will always be there for me. I really do love him.

Started talking to Krystal again, but I still never see her. I miss the shit out of her and Allie, I don't even know what I'm doing with my life. Me and Amanda are always together and it makes me happy. I feel like I don't really hangout with anyone anymore, though. I miss Dan, I need him to come home and whenever I think about him I get mad depressed. He's my best fucking friend in the world. I could call him and complain about anything/anyone and he would know how to make me smile. I just need him to get out and sit and talk with me for like ten hours. We need to make up for all this lost time.

PS. Two of my favorite kittens!

Alfredo & Salvador Dali <3

schedule (for me) updated.

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 14:03:59 GMT

Monday; Work 6:45-8:15am. Class 11:00-12:20pm. Work 1:00-6:00pm.
Tuesday; Work 7:00am-3:00pm (supervisor pay). Class 4:00-5:50pm.
Wednesday; Work 6:45-8:15am. Class 9:30-10:50am. Work 11:45-6:00pm.
Thursday; Work 9:30-3:00pm (supervisor pay). Class 4:00-5:50pm.
Friday; Class 9:30-10:50. Class 11:00-12:20pm.

I don't want to hear how "stressed out" everyone is.
Or how "exhausted" everyone is.
I'm seriously working my ass off.

cassshhh mmooonnneeeyyyy <333

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 04:30:45 GMT

there is so much to say but no words to say it.

i'm not okay.
nothing is right anymore.

everything turned completely around within the past month.

i need dan to come home.
we need to get this money this week.
i need to stop pretending to be so happy.
i need someone to fucking talk to.
i need to not be so alone.
i need to be someone's priority.
i need to be able to hit people.
i need something.
and i don't know what it is.

fuck everything. in all seriousness. i really just don't care about anyone or anything anymore.

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 04:10:54 GMT

So things without Dan are not good. I'm not okay with out him. I really don't think I can do this for two years. I need to go visit him soon. I have to wait at least a week, ugh.

I need him around.
So do you.
We all do, really.

=[ <3

everyone's caught on to everything you do.

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 03:03:45 GMT

is that what you call a getaway?
tell me what you got away with,
cause i've seen more spine in a jellyfish.
i've seen more guts in eleven year old kids.

so have another drink and drive yourself home.
i hope there's ice on all the roads,
and you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
and again when your head goes through the windshield.

is that what you call tact?
you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back,
so let's end this call,
and end this conversation.

is that what you call a getaway?
tell me what you got away with,
cause you left the frays from the ties you severed,
when you say "best friends",
it means friends forever.

I love listening to music that I used to listen to when I was younger. It makes me remember certain things and feelings. I love Brand New. And I forgot how much I did. Same with Between the Buried and Me, Something Corporate, and With Honor. All at different times, but I still loved them all at one point. I just downloaded all of them along with all of the stuff I like now. Things change, it's so weird.

So graduation was cool, and the weekend after was amazing. Then Florida was so good, and work has sucked but Amanda and I leave on Sunday at noon to drive to Florida to leave on our cruise. We're going to Mexico! Ah. I'm stokedddd. We're in love and we're gonna have so much fun because we always do.

Jim and I are trying to plan a cruise for right after his birthday and I really wanna do it. It would be alot of fun. Plus when me and Amanda get back from the cruise, hopefully we'll go to Maryland for a weekend or something. I'd like that, it's so nice there.

Other than that I'm going to save the picture post for after we come back so there will be everything from prom til next week. That's a lot of pictures.

I love Jim. We had such a good day today. <333

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 01:44:12 GMT

Things will be okay in the end
and if they're not okay;
then it's not the end.

Because this is how it's supposed to be.
Always. <3

Mon, 21 May 2007 02:54:01 GMT

So prom was everything I wanted it to be. Jim was a wonderful date and made me feel beautiful. My friends all looked gorgeous and the whole night was amazing. Danced my ass off with Amanda most of the time, and got to see everyone all dressed up!

Loved taking the limo down the shore. It was so classsssssy. Fun time down there for the weekend too, got to see most of the people I intended to see. Everything since prom has been nothing short of wonderful either. Jim and I are perfect. Still seeing Amanda almost everyday, which is a priority. La dee da dee da.

Things to look forward to:
Graduation on June 15th
Florida from June 20-24th
Cancun from July 10-13th
Wildwood from August 24-30th

Lots of pictures later!
<3

Mon, 14 May 2007 18:22:25 GMT

seniority, bitch.

:)

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 01:57:03 GMT

so i am writing my own ending, i'll let my pen bleed black or blue. and i will color in the meaning. it will be gold and green and true. and i'll learn to love my new discovered proof.

i will be grateful for this day.
i will be grateful for each day to come.

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 18:46:08 GMT

spring break '07, no regrets.

happy easter!